MOVIE OF THE WEEK (3/25/22): THE LOST CITY

"Wait – there may be a script for 'Miss Congeniality 3: Where's the Magic, Mike?" over there! Romance cover model turned would-be jungle savior Alan (Channing Tatum) and the woman behind his success, Loretta Sage (Sandra Bullock) try to escape the jungle in a scene from THE LOST CITY. Credit: © 2022 Paramount Pictures. All rights reserved. 

WATCH THE TRAILER HERE: 

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DIRECTOR: Aaron and Adam Nee

KEY CAST MEMBERS: Sandra Bullock, Channing Tatum, Daniel Radcliffe, Da'Vine Joy Randolph, Oscar Nuñez, Héctor Aníbal and Brad Pitt

WEB SITE: https://www.thelostcity.movie/

THE BACK STORY: Loretta Sage (Sandra Bullock) is three things: (1) A frustrated archeologist-type researcher who's (2) settled for being a best-selling romance novel writer who's grown tired of her creation, especially because (3) she's not over the death of her husband several years ago. Alan (Channing Tatum) is better known to the public as Dash, the fictional male hero featured in all Loretta's books.

So, what happens when Loretta is forced by her publicist Beth (Da'Vine Joy Randolph) to do a book tour with Dash? Well, disaster, as you might expect. But you know what's even worse than a bad press event for Beth? Having the son of a rich man in the form of Abigail – yes, Abigail – Fairfax (Daniel Radcliffe) kidnap your writer because he believes her writings may actually make her the one person qualified to help him find an ancient "Crown of Fire" of red diamonds in a remote jungle. 

But for Alan, this is simply the perfect opportunity to be the hero Loretta has always written Dash out to be ...

THE REVIEW: The Lost City is 2022's version of Romancing the Stone ... Except it's not. Instead, it's more like a cold Mountain Dew on a hot summer day: It's enjoyable as you consume it, only to realize that it probably was a lot worse for you than you originally thought once it's gone. 

The film isn't officially a remake of Stone ... But you'd be hard pressed to watch Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner's 1984 flick and not feel like it's a diet Dew version of its predecessor. Tatum does everything he can to keep the rather predictable (and utterly ludicrous even by romantic comedies in a jungle standards) story together. Radcliffe's performance is ... something, as are the majority of non-memorable side characters. Joy Randolph is given a nice slot as a dedicated woman who just happens to be black (and not the other way around), but at a certain point, The Lost City just becomes your standard fish-out-of-water romantic comedy with plenty of tired one-liners. (Poor Oscar Nuñez ... That's all I'll say about that.)

Here's the rub, though: None of what I just said will matter to most as the film's core demographic: Ladies who like the romantic fantasy depicted in most of the books that its female lead hates she is good at writing. It's an audience pleaser you can watch on a date night, with your mom on a mother/daughter day and "cute" enough to offset its eyeroll-inducing moments. 

In the words of Will Ferrell's fictional son Texas Ranger in Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, The Lost City is "all jacked up on Mountain Dew!" But America loves to do the Dew, which means that if you're looking for a mindless and cute comedy that prefers those things over originality, by all means visit The Lost City.

There are worse places you could take an "uncharted" adventure cruise if you like cubic zirconia films masquerading as gems.

OVERALL RATING (OUT OF FOUR POSSIBLE BUCKETS OF POPCORN):

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