MOVIE OF THE WEEK (6/12/15): JURASSIC WORLD
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| "You think my breath is bad now, wait 'till I put some Sriracha on these flying wings! The Indominus Rex wreaks havoc in a scene from co-writer/director Colin Trevorrow's newest addition to the Jurassic Park franchise, JURASSIC WORLD. Credit: Universal Pictures and Amblin Entertainment. © 2015 Universal Studios and Amblin Entertainment. All Rights Reserved. |
WATCH THE TRAILER(S) HERE:
KEY CAST MEMBERS: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Vincent D'Onofrio, Ty Simpkins, Nick Robinson, Omar Sy, BD Wong, Irrfan Khan, Jake Johnson, Judy Greer and Ty Burrell
WRITER(S): Rick Jaffa, Amanda Silver, Derek Connolly and Colin Trevorrow (screenplay); Rick Jaffa and Amanda Silver (story); Michael Crichton (original characters on which the film is based)
DIRECTOR(S): Colin Trevorrow
60 SECOND PLOT SUMMARY (OR AS CLOSE TO THAT TIME AS ONE CAN MAKE IT): Hoping to recapture the magic that struck audiences back in 1993, Jurassic World stars Ty Simpkins and Nick Robinson as Gray and Zach, two brothers visiting the realized Jurassic World – the dinosaur theme park the late John Hammond (played in the original by Sir Richard Attenborough). Now a full scale park that features everything from rideable dinosaurs to a Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville and Starbucks, the brothers are getting VIP access to the park courtesy of their aunt Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard).
A marketing executive who works 24/7, Claire is currently overseeing the upcoming reveal of the park's newest attraction – Indominus Rex – the park's first original genetically modified hybrid dinosaur that has the DNA of T-Rex (and several other creatures) so it can shine as a way to keep guests interested and coming back to the park's home on Isla Nublar. While Claire, Dr. Wu (BD Wong) and Masrani, the park's billionaire owner/aspiring helicopter pilot are all fond of their newest creature, Owen (Chris Pratt) has yet to meet the animal as he's been busy working on another project: training a group of velociraptors to work and respond to his commands. While Owen is optimistic about the bond he may one day be able to share with his animals, Hoskins (Vincet D'Onofrio) is interested in his work for a different, far more militaristic reason ...
So, what happens when you put 20,000 tourists on an island with prehistoric killing machines, people with various motivations and security that may or may not be able to hold them all off? Well, the park is open ... How long it is, however, remains to be seen ...
A marketing executive who works 24/7, Claire is currently overseeing the upcoming reveal of the park's newest attraction – Indominus Rex – the park's first original genetically modified hybrid dinosaur that has the DNA of T-Rex (and several other creatures) so it can shine as a way to keep guests interested and coming back to the park's home on Isla Nublar. While Claire, Dr. Wu (BD Wong) and Masrani, the park's billionaire owner/aspiring helicopter pilot are all fond of their newest creature, Owen (Chris Pratt) has yet to meet the animal as he's been busy working on another project: training a group of velociraptors to work and respond to his commands. While Owen is optimistic about the bond he may one day be able to share with his animals, Hoskins (Vincet D'Onofrio) is interested in his work for a different, far more militaristic reason ...
So, what happens when you put 20,000 tourists on an island with prehistoric killing machines, people with various motivations and security that may or may not be able to hold them all off? Well, the park is open ... How long it is, however, remains to be seen ...
WHO WILL LIKE THIS FILM THE MOST? People who enjoyed the Transformers movie series; Chris Pratt fans; people who enjoy mindless action sequences and watching dinosaurs come to life; anyone enjoys campy summertime action movie fare
WHO WON’T (OR SHOULDN'T) LIKE THIS MOVIE? Fans of the original Jurassic Park film; Chris Pratt fans who hate to see him trying to carry a movie single-handedly; those who hate predictable sci-fi films; people who pick apart plot holes; people who enjoy characters that are not one dimensional
SO, IS IT GOOD, BAD OR ABSOLUTELY AWFUL? As someone who [1] is a fan and owner of the original film trilogy [2] enjoys Chris Pratt's work very much and [3] was hopeful the new film would deliver something original, it saddens me to say this, but the truth must be told: Jurassic World is proof that much like the fictional venue featured in the film, the park should stay closed forever as bigger is clearly not always better. Jurassic World in fact does it best to prove that bigger is 100% worse.
If you're the type that pays attention when you watch a movie, you'll likely notice there are a myriad of problems that plague Jurassic World from start to finish – and all of them come together to create a hybrid best described as a Michael Bay orgy of violence, predictable storylines and bad acting that co-writer/director Colin Trevorrow tries to save with a big blowout action sequence at the end.
Let's run down some of the problems together now, shall we?
Story-wise, Jurassic World presents the EXACT same story you expect you're going to get if you've ever seen any of the first three films: Man CANNOT control dinosaurs and not only that, the more WE try to control nature, the more nature is going to show us who's in control. There is no surprise to what the Indominus Rex is about, going to do or how it's going to do it. Likewise, you know what every human character is going to do after the first time they show up on screen, so nothing in Jurassic World is exciting in terms of the story because you can figure it out 20-25 minutes in. Having refused to learn from all the past incidents – and given the money spent, loss of life involved and resources wasted, wouldn't SOME government/environmental agency/PETA have shut this place down by now?! – you are not surprised/shocked in the slightest when what happens unfolds.
How bad of a repeat of every other Jurassic Park movie is this? Well, let's see ...
[1] The businessman (Khan) is always going to be optimistic and hopeful but extremely misguided; [2] The business execs/scientists (Howard/Wong) are always going to put the wrong things first in the idea of making money/their legacy;
[3] The animal control guy (Pratt) is always gonna be the one that has to fix something/knows whatever is going on behind closed doors isn't right, but not until after the security team realizes their overmatched ...
[4]And there's always gonna be one guy (D'Onofrio) that is gonna be the dumb fat guy. Did I also mention ...
[5] There's got to be a somewhat ludicrous romance and
[6] The kids are going to be both
[7] Not interesting/annoying as siblings until they ...
[8] Have to be rescued? Seriously – it's to the point Child Protective Services wouldn't let anyone under the age of 18 anywhere near this place. At least
[9] There's going to be one wise-cracking employee (Jake Johnson) to throw in some good one liners and try to help along the way.
By the way, if you think I just gave away the movie in the paragraph above, you OBVIOUSLY haven't watched the trailer for the film since IT DOES EVERYTHING I JUST MENTIONED IN LESS THAN 3 MINUTES.
Pratt does his best to keep the film in some level of plausibility/interest as the take no nonsense Owen, but given all the aforementioned tired tropes the other characters he's saddled with have – just wait until Howard goes into classic Indiana Jones damsel in distress mode with the perfect mode of sweaty, alluring feminine outfit (complete with high heels!) and complete character 180 attitude turn – it's a lose-lose situation. It's really hard for anyone to overcome a complete cluster of mediocre, so just consider this one a mulligan for the former Parks & Recreation star (and fittingly potential next Indiana Jones).
Next to Pratt, the dinosaurs are the only good thing about Jurassic World. but save for one Alfred Hitchcock/Birds-like inspired sequence and the massive blowout at the film's climax, the other dino sequences are lackluster as everything else.
So, unless you've never seen a Jurassic Park movie, really love watching people run in panic after making bad decisions ... Or just like Chris Pratt so much you have to see every film he's in, Jurassic World is proof that bigger is not only not always better, but that some movie franchises should just stay extinct.
If you're the type that pays attention when you watch a movie, you'll likely notice there are a myriad of problems that plague Jurassic World from start to finish – and all of them come together to create a hybrid best described as a Michael Bay orgy of violence, predictable storylines and bad acting that co-writer/director Colin Trevorrow tries to save with a big blowout action sequence at the end.
Let's run down some of the problems together now, shall we?
Story-wise, Jurassic World presents the EXACT same story you expect you're going to get if you've ever seen any of the first three films: Man CANNOT control dinosaurs and not only that, the more WE try to control nature, the more nature is going to show us who's in control. There is no surprise to what the Indominus Rex is about, going to do or how it's going to do it. Likewise, you know what every human character is going to do after the first time they show up on screen, so nothing in Jurassic World is exciting in terms of the story because you can figure it out 20-25 minutes in. Having refused to learn from all the past incidents – and given the money spent, loss of life involved and resources wasted, wouldn't SOME government/environmental agency/PETA have shut this place down by now?! – you are not surprised/shocked in the slightest when what happens unfolds.
How bad of a repeat of every other Jurassic Park movie is this? Well, let's see ...
[1] The businessman (Khan) is always going to be optimistic and hopeful but extremely misguided; [2] The business execs/scientists (Howard/Wong) are always going to put the wrong things first in the idea of making money/their legacy;
[3] The animal control guy (Pratt) is always gonna be the one that has to fix something/knows whatever is going on behind closed doors isn't right, but not until after the security team realizes their overmatched ...
[4]And there's always gonna be one guy (D'Onofrio) that is gonna be the dumb fat guy. Did I also mention ...
[5] There's got to be a somewhat ludicrous romance and
[6] The kids are going to be both
[7] Not interesting/annoying as siblings until they ...
[8] Have to be rescued? Seriously – it's to the point Child Protective Services wouldn't let anyone under the age of 18 anywhere near this place. At least
[9] There's going to be one wise-cracking employee (Jake Johnson) to throw in some good one liners and try to help along the way.
By the way, if you think I just gave away the movie in the paragraph above, you OBVIOUSLY haven't watched the trailer for the film since IT DOES EVERYTHING I JUST MENTIONED IN LESS THAN 3 MINUTES.
Pratt does his best to keep the film in some level of plausibility/interest as the take no nonsense Owen, but given all the aforementioned tired tropes the other characters he's saddled with have – just wait until Howard goes into classic Indiana Jones damsel in distress mode with the perfect mode of sweaty, alluring feminine outfit (complete with high heels!) and complete character 180 attitude turn – it's a lose-lose situation. It's really hard for anyone to overcome a complete cluster of mediocre, so just consider this one a mulligan for the former Parks & Recreation star (and fittingly potential next Indiana Jones).
Next to Pratt, the dinosaurs are the only good thing about Jurassic World. but save for one Alfred Hitchcock/Birds-like inspired sequence and the massive blowout at the film's climax, the other dino sequences are lackluster as everything else.
So, unless you've never seen a Jurassic Park movie, really love watching people run in panic after making bad decisions ... Or just like Chris Pratt so much you have to see every film he's in, Jurassic World is proof that bigger is not only not always better, but that some movie franchises should just stay extinct.
OVERALL RATING (OUT OF FOUR POSSIBLE BUCKETS OF POPCORN):
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