MOVIE OF THE WEEK (2/13/15): FIFTY SHADES OF GREY

"I didn't come to hear you play that – I wanted to hear 'Super Freak' by Rick James!' Anastacia Steele (Dakota Johnson) approaches her billionaire lover Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) in a scene from the highly anticipated just-in-time-for-Valentine's Day release FIFTY SHADES OF GREY. Credit: © 2015 Focus Features and Universal Pictures.

WATCH THE TRAILER HERE: 



KEY CAST MEMBERS: Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Jennifer Ehle, Victor Rask, Luke Grimes, Eloise Mumford, Max Martini and Marcia Gay Harden

WRITER: Kelly Marcel

DIRECTOR: Sam Taylor-Johnson

WEB SITE: http://www.fiftyshadesmovie.com/

60 SECOND PLOT SUMMARY (OR AS CLOSE TO THAT TIME AS ONE CAN MAKE IT):

Based on E.L. James’ best-selling novel of the same name (and the entry to the trilogy), Fifty Shades of Grey stars Dakota Johnson (The Social Network) as Anastacia Steele, a soon-to-be college graduate who is demure in her nature as she is inexperienced sexually – which is to say very. Living in Portland, she finds herself thrust (no pun intended) into a world completely foreign to her once she finds herself in the presence of Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan).

Arguably the most famous and successful and unnamed alumni in her college’s history as a 27 year-old self-made billionaire, Grey is an intimidating presence to young Anastacia – And even more so once he reveals he is interested in much more than answering the interview questions her friend Kate (Eloise Mumford) needs him to.

Once she graduates college, Anastacia dives into a whirlwind passionate relationship with Grey in which he reveals his passion for sexual liaisons so … Different … Than what she is expecting it requires a contract. Seriously. And that becomes a point of contention: For if she is everything he is looking for, why then, can’t he just enjoy her in a way that doesn’t require handcuffs and other restraints so that they can be free of any emotionally?

Needless to say, what follows is likely to change both of their lives in a manner neither of them expects …

WHO WILL LIKE THIS FILM THE MOST?

Anyone who enjoyed the book; those looking for an above-average soft core romantic way to spice up a standard Valentine’s Day outing at the movies; the “romantically adventurous;” those who enjoy experiencing titillation with random strangers in an audience; couples curious about more than quote-unquote “normal” sexual behaviors and looking for way to start the conversation about their own relationship

WHO WON’T (OR SHOULDN'T) LIKE THIS MOVIE?

Well, you mean in addition to the Cincinnati archdiocese? Introverts; ANYONE uncomfortable with the sight of other naked human beings, let alone in public; people who find the general concept of the book/film ridiculous/trashy; people unfamiliar with the ways of many modern couples/want to act as if this world doesn’t really exist; anyone who would rather watch an actual adult film/one with less overall schmaltzy/cheesy cinematic experience

SO, IS IT GOOD, BAD OR ABSOLUTELY AWFUL?

Before I say anything else, let me go ahead and say this: I, like many men throughout America, have NOT read the books. I also fully acknowledge I am NOT the book nor film’s target audience, so take that for what you will, die-hard Grey fans.

That being said, I actually kind of enjoyed the movie because it delivered exactly what I thought it would: A somewhat tawdry-yet-titillating film that is filled with enough nudity and Hollywood-style sexual situations and decent acting to overcome its somewhat ludicrous (and not because of the nature of the characters’ encounters) story.

If you grew up watching HBO in the 1990s, have ever searched – whether purposely or not – the Internet or been paying attention in the last 20-25 years, the sexual content found in Fifty Shades will NOT be shocking to you. In this age of not-so-real-but-we’re-still-calling-it-reality television, explicit lyrics, same sex marriage debate and the like, there’s pretty much nothing left that can be “shocking” to the American populace about sex. Think about it: There are probably more people today who have seen Kim Kardashian’s sex tape or Twitter account than there are that could name most of the state capitals in the county they live in. 

The themes of sex and violence is one of America’s oldest and grandest entertainment staples, so the only way you could essentially be shocked by Grey’s content is if [1] you do not engage in any of the activity yourself and find anyone who does absolutely, positively a disgusting, perverted human being [2] have deep, personal religious convictions regarding any type of sexual activity before marriage and/or [3] just don’t want to see people – in movies or real life – exploring their own personal sexual boundaries/perversions. And I’m not here to judge you; as I always say, save for engaging in illegal activity, what you believe when it comes to all things sexual is between you, any potential partner you may have, your family and/or your therapist.

However, once you take sex OUT of the equation, the majority of Grey is a bit of a mixed bag. While the sexual situations are obviously the film’s biggest selling point – who doesn’t enjoy a little voyeurism every once in a while, right? – the thing that could have been more interesting is how its two lead characters came to be the way they are. That’s not to say the movie should be seen by any 12 year-old like it can be in France (yep – here’s the proof), but most worldly adults shouldn’t be too shocked by what they see.

While we get a short-but-effective explanation of Anastacia’s lack of sexual experience, the thing most people (and by people, I do mean the film’s female audience contingency) will want is more of Grey’s story. WHY is he the way he is and why can he not, for lack of a better word, “enjoy” himself without his out-of-the-norm methods? In attempting to set the stage for parts two and three (YES, they’ve already committed to doing them both), director Sam Taylor-Johnson and screenwriter Kelly Marcel are a little limited in what all she can reveal in this initial installment, but that in turn hinders the film from coming full circle.

The again, you do have the issue of Dornan’s portrayal of Grey either feeling spot on given the character’s controlling, tortured (spiritually) nature … Or a bit too serial killer-ish given some of his dialogue and mannerisms. (In other words, you’ll likely be turned on or turned off w/ little grey area in between. See what I did there?) Johnson plays her character very well all things considered, as she is great as a naive young woman at the start of the film before eventually blossoming (literally and figuratively) into one who is more assertive as she becomes more experienced. Thus, it’s a big of a mixed bag where you get some good with some bad during the film’s two hour run time. For there are moments that are quite interesting, stimulating and funny, others that feel as if they drag on forever and some that quite frankly, just don’t need to even be there in the first place.

So, is Fifty Shades of Grey the perfect Valentine’s Day cinematic gift to satisfy and please lovers from coast to coast? Ehh … Probably not – but it isn’t as horrible as you might likely believe at first glance, either. The sex will be perhaps steamy for some, but it's nothing like Caligula – then again, fortunately, most main stream films are not. 

One thing is for certain, however – it’s probably going to do a LOT for men’s neckties sales this Presidents’ Day weekend.

OVERALL RATING (OUT OF FOUR POSSIBLE BUCKETS OF POPCORN):