MOVIE OF THE WEEK #3 (11/11/11): JACK AND JILL
KEY CAST MEMBERS: Adam Sandler, Al Pacino, Katie Holmes, Eugenio Derbez, Nick Swardson, Rohan Chand and Elodie Tougne
WRITER(S): Steve Koren and Adam Sandler (screenplay); Ben Zook (story)
DIRECTOR: Dennis Dugan
WEB SITE: www.jackandjill-movie.com
THE PLOT: The latest movie from the Happy Madison family, Jack and Jill stars Adam Sandler in the dual role of the titular twins. Jack Sadelstein is a happily married man to his wife Erin (Katie Holmes), with whom he co-parents their daughter (Elodie Tougne) and adopted son (Rohan Chand). He also co-owns a commercial video production company where he keeps his assistant Todd (Nick Swardson) on the go. Dunkin' Donuts, his biggest client, is looking for Jack to land Al Pacino for a commercial for its new 'Dunkachino' beverage ... And if he can't get the Academy Award winner, his company might be looking at a rough future.
But Jack has a more pressing problem on his hands - his homely, annoying, passive aggressive twin sister Jill (also played by Adam Sandler) is coming to visit him for the holidays. And if he's going to survive the holidays, Jack's going need all the patience, kindness and understanding he can muster ...
THE TAKE: "Atrocious," "juvenile," "sophomoric," "ridiculous," "idiotic,""repetitive," "disgusting," "Stupid" ...
If I were to donate a $1 to breast cancer research for every time I laughed during Jack And Jill, there would be a lot of disappointed people at the Susan G. Komen Foundation as they would be able to find more money lying around in the average couch's cushions. If I were to donate a $1 for every time I sighed, attempted to cover my eyes, shook my head and/or sat there shocked at what I was watching and just how tired of a joke/gross/repetitive the scene on the screen was, I literally might cure cancer.
The problem with that, however, is that Jack And Jill is just a cancer of a motion picture that I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy.
Let's break down what's good about Jack And Jill: Nothing. Now, let's break down what's bad about it: Everything. Oh, need more details, OK, good - I've got them for you.
The acting in Jack And Jill is bad. Sure, Katie Holmes adds literally nothing to the movie, but what else was she going to do. That's not to mention how bad Sandler is in being comedic as Jill (note to ALL comedians: the guy in a dress playing a loud, outrageous woman who isn't sexy but thinks she is or, worse yet, everyone else pretends is, is OVER) and just how unwatchable Pacino is playing an over-the-top version of himself (which is saying something). At least Nick Swardson isn't in Bucky Larson mode. That's something, right?
But wait - isn't it at least funny? Hell no, it's not funny, unless your definition of funny is continuous shots to the groin/head/body in general, literal bathroom humor and half-politically incorrect jokes - I don't care how many times Jack's Hispanic landscaper Felipe (Eugenio Derbez) says "I'm keed-ing!" - it's not funny. Jill IS loud, annoying and passive-aggressive, so you don't root for the character at all. The only reason Jack is the foil of the film is because someone HAS to be. All of his requests are perfectly understandable, so forcing him as a villain doesn't work. Then again, neither does just about anything else in the movie.
Could I go on to talk about how the film is essentially a vehicle for all of Sandler's sports friends to cameo (cough, COUGH Michael Irvin and Bill Romanowski among others), give David Spade and Dana Carvey some work and essentially caters to those who enjoy the most simple-minded comedy ever? Yes, but I won't. I mean, the movie is so doggone predictable at every turn there's no need.
Now, to be fair, were there people laughing at the movie at the advance screening I suffered, I mean, went to? Yes. Children under the age of 13 and mostly senior citizens. Now, I like children and people older than myself, but when your film is primarily only making people that don't know any better or those who may likely rejoice at the next episode of Two And A Half Men, well ... Yeah. Then again, just because the majority likes something doesn't make it right - just look at American history and all those amendments we've made over the years for proof.
This wouldn't all be so horrifying if Sandler himself didn't know better. For in 2007's Funny People, he played a character largely inspired by himself: A stand-up comic who became so big he could and would do any movie he wanted if it was going to make money, regardless of the quality. Sadly, Jack And Jill proves that Sandler is great at committing to his characters IN movies, not the ones he chooses to make movies about.
PARTING SHOT: Jack and Jill should go up a hill ... And if you laugh at it when it comes down, you should never, EVER wonder why the number of quality comedy films has come tumbling down ever after ...
RATING (OUT OF FOUR BUCKETS OF POPCORN):
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