MOVIE OF THE WEEK #2: FASTER
Credit: Chuck Hodes © 2010 CBS Films Inc. All rights reserved
KEY CAST MEMBERS: Dwayne Johnson (but he'll always be the The Rock to his true fans!), Billy Bob Thornton, Tom Berenger, Carla Gugino, Maggie Grace, Mike Epps, Moon Bloodgood, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje and Oliver Jackson-Cohen
WRITER: George and Tony Gayton
DIRECTOR: George Tillman Jr.
WEB SITE: www.fasterthemovie.com/
THE PLOT: In a role that looks to re-establish his tough guy creditability after a string of lighter fare like Escape to Witch Mountain and The Tooth Fairy, Dwayne Johnson stars in Faster as "Driver." That's as in "getaway driver," which he was in a bank robbery that - due to unforeseen treachery - leaves his brother dead. (No, they don't look alike - that's explained later in the movie.)
Now released from prison, Driver is back on the streets and hell bent on revenge on the people responsible for setting them up.
Unfortunately for Driver, he's got "Cop" - as in soon-to-be-retiring cop/recovering drug addict (Billy Bob Thornton) - on his tail with help via his headstrong detective partner (Carla Gugino). Also on his tail is "Killer" - as in a hit man (Oliver Jackson-Cohen) who is always looking for a great challenge to prove himself - and to himself - as a sporting master of his domain.
But do you think that's gonna stop The Ro-I mean, Driver? Not at all ... In fact, it's going to make him go that even harder, stronger ... And (cue movie title screen)!
THE TAKE: There are too many ways for me to clown on Faster; in fact, I think I spent more time trying to figure out how to begin blasting this wreck (no pun intended) of an action movie than I spent being interested in it. (The opening sequence sets the tone and it's all downhill from there, kids!)
I'm not going to make fun of Billy Bob Thornton or Moon Bloodgood other than to say I've officially reached a point with them that if I see them in a movie, my expectations/hope for it to be any good are instantly decreased by 50 percent. And as opposed to doing my usual rant, I will spare you and just get down to the basics.
Faster fails due to all of the action movie clichés of the 70s and 80s that are great if you enjoy unintentional comedy, but not if you're in the market for an action movie that's actually entertaining.
Since they're advertising him in the ads as "The Rock," that's what I will be referring to Johnson as for the rest of this review. And I mean that affectionately, for when Johnson was "The Rock" in his pro wrestling days, he was compelling, had a great screen presence, was funny and intense in an engaging, what-is-he-going-to-do-next way.
In Faster, he is reduced to one big one, Terminator-like muscle devoid of any of the qualities that usually make him worth watching.
That's not to say he's the main thing that drags Faster down to a level that should have been "straight to DVD." No, that would be partially the fault of George and Tony Gayton, a.k.a. the films's screenwriters. I don't know if I've seen a worse "C" story in a movie than that of the "Killer," which is a terrible match for Jackson-Cohen both in concept and execution. The scene where Gugino's character comments on his description after a shootout with The Rock is so ridiculous that its hilarious. And I didn't even mention how predictable the script is ... If you can't see the events coming, you're not paying enough attention - especially with dialogue this flat, easy and corny.
If you think I'm going to let director George Tillman, Jr. off the hook, you're wrong. Since this debacle occurred under his watch, he has to shoulder a lot of the blame. Be it all of the over-the-top (and not in a good way) acting, the 'this is the standard action movie shot' shots, the shootouts/fights and right down to the corny music choices, there's really nothing here that makes a compelling case for Tillman's talents. (At least he got the driving sequences kinda right ... Kinda.)
PARTING SHOT Unless you are a HUGE Rock fan that enjoys everything he does as long as he's on screen, Faster might be the best way to describe how soon this movie will be out of theaters compared to this week's other new releases.
RATING (OUT OF FOUR POSSIBLE BUCKETS OF POPCORN):
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