MOVIE OF THE WEEK (7/23/10): SALT

Admit it: If she shot at you, you'd say there are worse ways to go ... Unless you happen to be Jennifer Aniston, that is! Angelina Jolie squeezes some cold steel as the title character in Sony Pictures' latest release SALT.
Credit: Andrew Schwartz, SMPSP

KEY CAST MEMBERS: Angelina Jolie, Liev Schreiber, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Andre Braugher and a bunch of people to push computer buttons, yell and scream and shoot and/or get shot at

WRITER: Kurt Wimmer

DIRECTOR: Phillip Noyce

WEB SITE: http://www.whoissalt.com/

THE PLOT: If you haven't figured it out yet from all the ubiquitous advertising that's been around for months, Salt star Angelina Jolie in the title role as Evelyn Salt, (originally written as a male character) a CIA officer sworn to be loyal to America and do her duty. (I mean, it's not like they would let her be a CIA officer if she didn't, right?) Unfortunately for ol' Salty, when a Russian defector accuses her of being a potential presidential assassin (ooh, that's not going to go over well at the company picnic!), she finds herself in a heap of trouble.

That leads her to go on the run ... And as the story takes all the twists in turns you might expect, it all leads her CIA buddies like Ted Winter (Liev Schreiber) and Peabody (Chiwetel Ejiofor) - seriously, Peabody?! - and enemies (as well as possibly the audience) asking the same question that also serves as the film's URL - "Who Is Salt?"

THE TAKE: Uh, ever seen a movie that left you with more questions than answers? How about one that looks like the writer and director saw a similar, more successful version of a couple of years ago and said "We'll flip this part and this part and it will seem like a fresh new movie!"? You will if you choose to see Salt, which despite the best efforts of the film's cast (or at least Jolie's) and crew, fails in the place where it all started, i.e. the writer's room.

Since it's impossible to not delve into the plot deeply without giving away most of the movie, let's just say Salt has a few problems that I just overcome. [1] The end result of the film could have likely been avoided with Salt simply telling someone what the deal is before bullets start flying [2] Salt's reasons for her actions ultimately, given the events of the film, seem flimsy and [3] Implausible in the first place as I doubt the person who motivated her to act the way she does in the end would have as much power to help her in the film's first act (I told you this is hard without giving away everything).

Throw in the fact that the film's action sequences should result in MUCH more damage to Salt than they do - Yes, it's kinda ludicrous how little physical harm she takes in certain instances even by action movie standards. See Casino Royale with Daniel Craig on how to do it right - and you'll see why Salt kind of implodes on itself more often than not. Jolie is not the problem with the film at all; it's all of the factors above.

To paraphrase what my friend Erin said after the advance screening we attended, Salt REALLY wants to be The Bourne Identity with a female character. Instead, it just comes off like a pretender to the throne. Unlike Bourne, the lead character has plenty of opportunities to prevent the events that play out in the film and you never really shake that feeling, which in turn hinders the ability to enjoy the film.

If an actor does a great job in a not-so-great movie, guess what? It's still a not-so-great movie. Then again, Ejiofor and Schreiber - who you can tell are really, really trying - just don't work in their roles.

*NEW!* PARTING SHOT: If you're going to the theater expecting Salt to deliver anything but a mindless 90-minute shoot 'em up cheap thrill, you might want to watch it while keeping a grain of one in mind.

RATING (OUT OF FOUR POSSIBLE BUCKETS OF POPCORN):