MOVIE OF THE WEEK (8/30/13): GETAWAY
KEY CAST MEMBERS: Ethan Hawke, Selena Gomez, Jon Voight and Rebecca Budig
WRITER(S): Sean Finnegan and Gregg Maxwell Parker (screenplay)
DIRECTOR(S): Courtney Solomon
60 SECOND PLOT SYNOPSIS: Getaway stars Ethan Hawke as Brent Magna, a former race car driver who flamed out and ended up "doing some things I'm not proud of" to make ends meet. Now living in Bulgaria, Brent is finally at peace in his life - until he comes home one day to find broken glass strewn about on the floor, blood throughout his home and his wife Leanne (Rebecca Budig) missing.
Then he gets a phone call from "The Voice" (Jon Voight) - instructing him to go steal a very specific car (a Shelby GT Mustang) equipped with cameras and await instructions if he ever wants to see his wife alive again.
Further complicating matters is The Kid (Selena Gomez), the daughter of a wealthy CEO of a Bulgarian bank who is the owner of the Mustang in question. And she wants it back. But once she unsuccessfully attempts to carjack back her vehicle from Brent, The Voice tells him not to let her go as she might "come in handy." Now paired up to both of their mutual chagrin, Brent and The Kid must figure out what's going on before they end up in the morgue - possibly right alongside of Leanne ...
WHO WILL LIKE THIS FILM THE MOST?: Die hard fans of Ethan Hawke and/or Selena Gomez, people who enjoy watching Jon Voight be evil, little boys and grown men who have a crush on Selena Gomez and/or Ford Mustangs
WHO WON'T LIKE THIS FILM?: Just about everyone else not mentioned above.
BOTTOM LINE – IS IT GOOD, GREAT, BAD OR DOWNRIGHT AWFUL? Downright awful - and there is plenty of blame to go around for Getaway being so aptly named.
WHAT'S GOOD (OR BAD) ABOUT IT?: Getaway is an aptly-named mess of a want-to-be cool car chase movie, which feels like a 90 minute, sloppily produced commercial for the Shelby GT Mustang. But why is it aptly named, you ask?
Because if you make the mistake of going to see it, you'll likely want to "get away" as quickly as possible.
To explain what's wrong with Getaway, let me start by simply listing what's right with it: Jon Voight is excellent as the mysteriou voice who has a very specific method to his madness which is the best - and only - interesting thing about the movie. Now that that's done, let's get to everything that makes this such a poorly executed movie. In no particular order, these include ...
 Character development, or the lack thereof. Hawke's character, to be such a skilled race car driver, is pretty much a complete pushover at every turn (no pun intended), can't figure out anything until someone tells him what's happening and spends the entire movie with an exasperated - not concerned or determined - look on his face. Then again, at least he's not "The Kid," who comes off as a bratty, know-it-all, I'm supposed to be tough but I'm not convincing that I am at any time teen who would be more at home hanging out at a Hot Topic than running the streets of Bulgaria at night.
Did I also mention how Gomez and Hawke have next to zero chemistry together? I didn't? Maybe I should now ... THEY HAVE NEXT TO ZERO CHEMISTRY. He's wimpy, she's annoying and they don't work well together.
 Dialogue - Save for Voight's lines, all of the dialogue in Getaway consists of Gomez saying "S---" repeatedly and Hawke asking a bunch of dumb questions with obvious answers, or at least obvious to anyone paying a lick of attention to the movie's poorly developed story.
 Continuity/logic errors - Hey, wasn't that Mustang banged up in the previous scene but now the bumper is fine again 5 minutes later? Hey, how CAN THE AMERICAN TEENAGE DAUGHTER OF THE CEO OF A MAJOR BANK'S CAR GET STOLEN and NO ONE IN THE BULGARIAN POLICE IS NOTIFIED?! What's that, he and his daughter don't speak anymore, really, so she's just allowed to run free with a handgun in Bulgaria and NO ONE is keeping tabs on her? Got it. Yet that same absent dad has told her INTRICATE DETAILS OF HOW HIS BANK OPERATES AND WOULD REACT IN CASE OF A MAJOR POWER OUTAGE?! Ok, I'll buy that - not.
How about the fact Gomez's character somehow lets her car get stolen, but is a MASTER computer expert and can do just about anything she needs from an iPad? I own an iPad - it can do a lot, but not as much as Getaway wants you to believe it can!
And let's not even think about all the complexities that would go into The Voice setting up this convoluted plot in the first place ...
 When the characters aren't talking nonsensically, there's a LOT of driving ... And I mean a LOT of driving. Sure, a cool car chase can be a great thing ... But 45 minutes of car chases in a 90 minute movie does a lot to lessen the cool effect, especially when it's the same type of chase over and over and over ... Then again, director Courtney Solomon did try to give us a Need for Speed-style video game angle during one car chase towards the end that was about as anti-climatic as watching the Miami Heat play basketball against just about anyone the last two seasons.
And last but certainly not least ...
 It's a movie you'll watch only to figure out waht's happening, but once you do, you're instantly disinterested in the rest of it. When you add the previous four problems together, it result in this one. And the latter is one nothing in Getaway is strong enough to overcome.
OVERALL RATING (OUT OF FOUR POSSIBLE BUCKETS OF POPCORN):