MOVIE OF THE WEEK (3/9/12): JOHN CARTER





"I'm not Charlton Heston, you damn, dirty, four-armed, saber-toothed apes!" The titular character (Taylor Kitsch) finds himself in a bit of a hairy - pun intended - situation that is one of many dangerous, action-packed moments in the life of JOHN CARTERCredit: Beth Dubber © 2011 Disney


KEY CAST MEMBERS: Taylor Kitsch, Lynn Collins, Samantha Morton, Willem Dafoe, Thomas Haden Church, Mark Strong, Ciarán Hinds, Dominic West, James Purefoy, Bryan Cranston and Daryl Sabara

WRITER(S):  Andrew Stanton, Mark Andrews & Michael Chabon (screenplay); Edgar Rice Burrows (original novel) 

DIRECTOR: Andrew Stanton


THE PLOT: Based on the novel A Princess of Mars by Edgar Rice Burrows, John Carter stars Taylor Kitsch of Friday Night Lights fame as the titular character who finds himself in a world he never knew existed.

A military man from Virginia during the Civil War, Carter is now just a man haunted by his memories ... And the pursuit of Powell (Bryan Cranston), who is determined to press Carter back into service. Tracking him down, Powell and Carter end up on the run from Native Americans. It is in that cave where Carter makes a remarkable discovery – a discovery that results in his sudden arrival on the planet of Barsoom, a.k.a. Mars.

It is there where he ends up being "greeted" by Tars Tarkas (voiced by Willem Dafoe), leader of the Tharks, a four-armed, elephant tusked, green-skinned tribe of warriors. Originally enslaved by the Tharks – who have also placed one of their own, Sola (Samantha Morton), in chains for repeated failures – Carter soon finds himself being fancied as a new weapon after getting involved in a conflict between the Heliumites and Zodangans.

Back story: Much like on earth where the Civil War just ended in America, Mars, er, Barsoom, rather, has had a long-standing conflict brewing between the Zodangans – led by Sab Than (Dominic West) – and the citizens of Helium, home to Princess Dejah Thoris (Lynn Collins). While the princess could end the war by marrying Than, she seeks for another way to end the conflict – and for good reason. For while she doesn't know it, Sab Than is being led by Matai Shang (Mark Strong), a seemingly immortal god-like figure who seeks to destroy the Heliumites under the guise of peace.

So what does John Carter have to do with any of this considering this is not his war and not his planet? Maybe nothing ... Maybe everything ... You'll just have to watch to find out.

THE TAKE: This year marks the 100th anniversary of Burrows "Barsoom" novels, which as all the films commercials will tell you, pre-dates both Star War, Avatar and just about any other prominent sci-fi movie series we know today. The problem, however, is that before hitting the screen, we have seen a ton of other sci-fi movies involving intergalactic wars where a hero (usually from earth) gets involved and saves the day.

Thus, in the case of John Carter, the film, what you end up with is an experience that is akin to going to watch a baseball game in the middle of the summer between two baseball teams you like: It's fun, it's a nice outing ... But it's really not that distinct of an experience to stand out from a crowded playing field.

Kitsch, to his credit, looks and acts very much the part as the film's title character. He shows a pretty decent – respectable, even – range of emotions and competency as someone who is both heroic and sensitive, as does the rest of the cast for the most part. (Let's just say that Collins really wishes to come off like a version of Angelina Jolie in an action movie but she. just. isn't. quite. there. yet.) The dialogue, many movies of its ilk, is written in a very Roman-like fashion and the events in the film play out as you would expect them to accordingly.

(Side bar: Is it just me, or does EVERY sci-fi series have people that either talk like Romans or in some gobbledygook made up language that doesn't exist yet?! OK –  back to the film review)

Likewise, the action sequences come off very well under the direction of director Andrew Stanton, himself an admitted fan of the book series, who does his best to keep the film's 131 minute run time not feeling as long as it is. Sure, there are some cheesy, pure Disney moments, some plot holes/ideas that are not explained as well as they could/should be and the 3D element that really doesn't bring home the story as best it could ... But it's not enough to hinder what is a fairly entertaining film as a whole.

The bottom line, however, is that John Carter suffers from the "been there, done that" syndrome that while is not inherently its fault, but is its responsibility to overcome. While Hollywood has been doing its best to make March/spring the new early summer blockbuster season John Carter ultimately shows why it's not going up against stronger competition among the likes of The Dark Knight Rises or even The Avengers. A well-done story you've seen before is still a well-done story ... That you've seen before. 

PARTING SHOT: The perfect type of sci-fi film to watch on cable at 2 o'clock on a Saturday afternoon, John Carter is a solid movie experience ... But it's far from being an out-of-this-world one.

RATING (OUT OF FOUR BUCKETS OF POPCORN):



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