MOVIE OF THE WEEK #1 (6/24/11): THE TREE OF LIFE
KEY CAST MEMBERS: Brad Pitt, Sean Penn, Jessica Chastain, Laramie Eppler, Hunter McCracken and Tye Sheridan
WRITER: Terrence Malick
DIRECTOR: Terrence Malick
WEB SITE: http://www.foxsearchlight.com/thetreeoflife/
THE PLOT: The fifth film from writer/director Terrence Malick, The Tree of Life is, according to Fox Searchlight Pictures, "An impressionistic story of a Midwestern family in the 1950s" centering around Jack (played as a youth by Hunter McCracken, played as an adult by Sean Penn). The eldest of the family's three boys, Jack finds himself lost as an adult in the world, still attempting to reconcile issues with his overbearing father (Brad Pitt) and attempting to figure out the meaning of life in the process. According to Fox Searchlight, "through Malick's signature imagery, we see how both brute nature and spiritual grace not only shape our lives as individuals and families, but all life."
Or at least, that's what they hope ...
THE TAKE: There are a couple of things you should know about my review of The Tree of Life before you proceed to read the rest of this review:
[1] I am going to censor the four-letter words I would like to use in this review with a bunch of asterisks (****);
[2] Several other critics I saw this film with loved it; another one, however, fell asleep;
[3] I am going to FULLY admit that maybe I am not intellectually skilled enough to understand what it is Malick intends this film to say/mean/understand it in general, so if you disagree with this review, that is your right as an American (not to eliminate any international readers of this blog!);
[4] I now owe Francis Ford Coppola an apology for calling his 2007 film Youth Without Youth the worst movie I've ever seen in a theater; and ...
[5] This may be the last Fox Searchlight film I am ever allowed to see early because of the level of vitriol I am about to subject you to about this movie.
Now, with all that said, if you don't feel like reading what is about to likely become an epic rant of a Dennis Green, Mike Singletary or Jim Mora, Sr. level, I'll spare you by just saying this: The Tree of Life is the worst ******* movie I've ever seen in my entire ******* life.
In fact, to illustrate what I mean, here is a list of 20 things I would honestly rather do than watch The Tree of Life ever again (listed in no particular order):
• Attend a Lady Gaga concert.
• Explain to Bill O’Reilly why he should buy a Ludacris CD
• Write, produce, direct and star in a musical of "A Nightmare on Elm Street."
• Eat a sandwich with mayonnaise on it. (Sorry ... It's gross.)
• Try to get people to visit my MySpace page again like it's cool.
• Try and get Lindsay Lohan a job as a nanny.
• Attend a renaissance fair.
• Try to sell Cincinnati Bengals season tickets to a Pittsburgh Steelers fan.
• Convince someone other than Scottie Pippen that LeBron James is a better basketball player than Michael Jordan.
• Date any woman featured on the cast of "Basketball Wives," "The Real Housewives of (pick your city)" or "Jersey Shore."
• Wear corduroy jeans in Arizona in July.
• Take a clothesline one time from a WWE professional wrestler.
• Perform stand-up at the Apollo Theatre in Harlem, New York on amateur night.
• Watch Paula Dean make out with Louie Anderson.
• Snake a toilet.
• Drink this.
• Dress up as a superhero and try and pick up women at a bar.
• Try to run 5 miles. (Healthy, but torturous for me.)
• Watch this for 60 solid minutes.
• Attend a Lady Gaga concert (I really don't enjoy her, so this would be quite torturous for me if forced to do it twice.)
Let me tell you something right now: I have never, and I mean NEVER, contemplated walking out of a movie as much as I did during the near 2 and a half hours that The Tree of Life's confusing, hackneyed and generally dumb cinematography was being burned into my subconscious forever. Look, as I said earlier, maybe it was me - maybe I'm just not smart enough to get what the hell was supposedly happening. However, I, give myself more credit than that and hope that you will trust me enough to avoid making the same mistake I did.
If you read a lot about the movie, you'll likely see a lot written about how great certain aspects of The Tree of Life look on screen. And for the most part, that's true - there is some startling imagery to be found in the movie, but that can't account what I would have to say are the film's two biggest flaws ... For despite looking great, THERE IS NOT ONE **** MOMENT THAT FEELS LIKE COHERENT STORYTELLING and A CONFUSING, INCOHERENT BORING MOVIE CAN LOOK AS GREAT AS IT WANT, BUT IT THAT WON'T MAKE UP FOR IT ALL NOT AMOUNTING TO ****!
For the 10-20 minutes Penn's character is on screen (it might be more; I was too busy trying to not fall asleep to count accurately), all he does is walk around looking confused. Sound entertaining? I thought not. OK, well, how about watching the wife of Pitt's character walk around so overtly happy in early scenes and so horribly melancholy in latter ones that you feel no empathy towards her whatsoever. Of course, there's Pitt walking around, looking suave even when being a (very forced) jerk for reasons that, despite his character's late efforts to explain them, still don't work. If this was a Star Trek: The Next Generation situation, one might go as far as to call three characters "Mary Sue."
This of course falls all upon the shoulders of writer/director Malick, for the film as a whole tries to be some huge, artistic, "it's going to move you whether you like it or not" statement ... In reality, all it does is make you move closer and closer to the exit with each horrible frame. I can handle complex storytelling as long as its somewhat coherent and not forced - but given this film's audacious methods, from its long-winded narrations and moments for its characters (and the audience) to reflect to its really silly moments - dinosaurs, really?! - hardly anything if anything at all makes sense in The Tree of Life ... Other than not watching it.
PARTING SHOT: The Tree of Life is like a dead tree rotting in the back yard ... It's lifeless, useless and a reminder of how even the most basic and beautiful things in life can become an afterthought.
RATING (OUT OF FOUR POSSIBLE BUCKETS OF POPCORN): NONE
If you read the synopsis of the film, you'd know that it's about a man searching for the meaning of life while also reminiscing over the tragedy of his brother dying. In the film, he tries to relate the emotions and vulnerability of that event to how fragile life is and has been since it's existence on Earth.
ReplyDeleteIf interpreting, thinking and trying to pick apart "deep" films is too difficult for you, you can always just watch "The Room". Not much emotional vulnerability or thought-provoking empathy going on there. It's pretty linear and chronological as well, =).
As for being a "film critic" in a technical sense, it's editing that bothers you. Not cinematography. Repeat after me: E D I T I N G. Editing. Ed-it-ing. Figure how to express your opinions before you express them, and that involves knowing your terms and how to use them properly It's funny, because I had no problem understanding "The Tree of Life", but now have a headache trying to figure out what about the film you dislike. And before you think that I defend the film at all costs because I think it's "duhhh best ting ever11!!!1", I don't. I appreciate and respect those who dislike it and can intelligently explain why. But you just call it dumb, and boring, and can barely let us know why. Just makes you look dumb and boring too, dear =/.